ATHEIST writer Kurt Vonnegut Jr once created a character, allegedly based on Hemingway, for his play Happy Birthday, Wanda June. In it, the sexist buffoon Harold comes out with the following line:
Educating a beautiful woman is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch. Everything stops.
I burst out laughing when I first read that quote way back in the early 1970s … and spent several guilty hours after regretting my mirth. But then I decided to adapt it to suit my own worldview:
Religiously educating a person is like pouring honey into a fine Swiss watch …
There’s no way – NO WAY – I’m going to say “Happy Yule!” to my folks when I go into the frozen North for my seasonal holiday this year. No way!
Nope. They’ll say “Happy Christmas!”, so I’ll say “Happy Christmas!” Why? Because that’s what it’s called – that’s why. Has been for yonks.
Yes, yes, yes, I know the period was hijacked. I know there were festivals there at that time of year – still are – and the Christians knew (devious sods that they were) that it would be altogether easier to mould the mythology surrounding the birth of their big man onto the midwinter stuff that was going down. That way, they would get the nasty heathens to accept nice Gentle Jesus.